Ways Being Overweight Is Like Halloween

• You ought to be more scared of it than you actually are
  
  
• You keep a bunch of candy around the house “for the kids”
  
  
• They don’t make the best clothes in your size
  
  
• You detest folks that insist on offering you healthy treats
  
  
• Sometimes you get creeped out when you catch your reflection in the mirror
  
  
• Your children get a lot more exercise than you do
  
  
• Feel as though you’re wearing a bulky costume
  
  
• Can’t walk around the block without stopping at every house and asking for food
  
  
• When you get dressed up, people think you look frightening
  
  
• Insert your own “goblin” joke here
  
  
• You often steal food from your children
  
  
• You want to hide your face